Dear P-friend

I have been thinking about you a lot these days. I wonder how are you, do you sometimes think about me, or you just slide trough your days with a lazy smile and let nothing touch you.
Even now I think I am wrong to consider you and let myself be so easily touched by you. I really shouldn't.
*-*-*
Walking down the street, carrying a bag of groceries. i enter in the house, smile back at your playful eyes and head for the kitchen. I want to make a cake. Do you want to lick my finger? I think so. Do you want to play with the chocolate butter? I think so. Do you want to see me smile? I think so.

*-*-*
Unexpected formal dinner - work related. I need a dress, if you'd let me come with you. Turn the car around, we have only 3 hours to get ready. I wont shop long. No you're not paying. The dress is gray, silk, flows around me like waterfall. My eyes sparkle. It's charming. Do you like me elegant and classy? I think so. Do you take small pride in having me there with you? I think so. Do you feel the wind in my hair? I think so.
*-*-*
Your friends are interesting. Intimidating. They measure me up and down and from side to side. You crack jokes on my expanse. I breathe in your year: "Don't mess with me, I can scramble you in front of them for no time!" I'm angry, and you see my resolution. Does it turn you on? I think so. Do you want to make a macho move and mark me? I think so. Do you not care? I think so.
*-*-*
You will be series of small embarrassments and disappointments, until you turn me cold. Then I will fall low and heavy. Burn, but not broken. I will be a photograph you will send out as a very shallow statement of trust to someone else. You haven't heard my voice yet and you have already forgotten it. I want to erase you my P-friend. I want to be away, and never fall for the pits of my own imagination, never reach for non-existent importance. But, pity, all I have is my imagination. It makes me who I am, and gives me wings, to be more than a photograph. I have no strength to not think about you at all. I have no strength to erase you. But i am strong enough to play you game. Any way that you want! I am tired of games and teasing. I want to be me. With you I can't.